Shrimps & Kitties
by tsukiflower
Summary: Random funny short stories featuring the characters from Fullmetal Alchemist! New chapter added!
1. How his mind works

**Hello! This is the first short random story here for Shrimps & Kitties. Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...that wouldn't be good...**

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**HOW HIS MIND WORKS**  
Enemy Mustang has appeared. Insult towards height. Attack? 

Edward uses Angry Exaggerated Comeback.

Enemy Mustang not affected.

Enemy Mustang uses Smirk.

Edward loses 20 dignity points.

Edward uses Annihilation.

Enemy Mustang defeated.

Edward gains 60 height points!

"What do you mean you did this because he called you short? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Alphonse scolded his brother after Edward had beat up the Colonel. Edward pouted and sat in front of Al silent.

"Sometimes I just don't know how your mind works, Brother."

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**Strangest thing I've thought of but hoped you enjoyed it! Next one coming very soon!**

**-tsukiflower**


	2. Mistaken Identity

**Second story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! Don't let fangirls own it...unspeakable horrors will happen... **

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**MISTAKEN IDENTITY**

Edward sat on the sidewalk drinking a soda.

"Edward! Who gave you that soda? You know you're not supposed to have sugar!" Mustang asked Edward.

"My little brother, Alphonse gave me it!" Edward smiled at Mustang, which is a miracle.

"NO I DIDN'T!" Alphonse ran to the two and snatched the soda from Edward.

"Oh, yeah...I got it from him." Edward pointed at a vending machine.

"Sorry, Al." Edward snatched the soda and kept drinking it while Al sat depressed on the sidewalk.

"I'm not a vending machine..." Alphonse whimpered.

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**Poor Al...and Edward should never have sugar...EVER. Next chapter soon!**

**-tsukiflower**


	3. Pants

**Another random story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

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**PANTS**

"Who needs pants when I have this!" Edward shouted. Winry looked back from the sofa to see Edward with nothing but his boxers and a loincloth on.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Winry covered her eyes as Edward ran around the room showing off his new look.

"Now I'm just like--no better than AL! AND TALLER TOO!" Edward shouted laughing evilly afterward.

"HEY! GIVE MY LOINCLOTH BACK!" Al chased after his brother leaving Winry alone in the room.

"I'm surrounded by idiots..."

"I know what you mean..." Hawkeye suddenly appeared behind Winry who screamed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Winry asked.

"Just waiting for the Colonel to stop acting childish." Outside, Mustang and Edward passed the loincloth rolled up in a ball back and forth keeping it away from Al.

"THAT'S IT! Attack them my pets!" Al pointed to the two. Suddenly a dozen cats appeared out of nowhere and chased Ed and Mustang away.

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**Al probably does have a hidden cat army somewhere...so..poor Edward!**

**-tsukiflower**


	4. Kitty

**Another one!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...I can't even afford to buy Edward... **

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**KITTY**

Alphonse petted his cherished childhood toy, Kitty, a cat plush toy. He placed on a table behind Edward who was reading on the sofa.

"It's good to see Kitty again. Brother, please don't do anything to Kitty."

"Why would I?"

"Well..when we were little..." Alphonse remembered when Edward pretended to throw Kitty out the window. Al had beaten him up pretty good after that.

"FINE!" Edward yelled and continued to read his book. He looked back at the plush toy and shrugged.

A few minutes passed, Alphonse had not come back yet. Edward looked back, turned, but looked back again.

"Wait...wasn't it further back just a few minutes ago...?" Edward stared at the cat until he decided he was seeing things.

Not even a minute had passed, when Edward decided to look back again.

"What the?" Edward turned to see the plush toy right behind him. He was starting to get nervous. He looked back quickly to see that it was gone. When he turned back...it was on the floor in front of him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" Edward ran out the room as quick as he could.

"Brother? Where are you?" Alphonse opened his brother's bedroom to find him hiding under the covers of his bed shuddering.

"Brother, what's wrong?" Alphonse asked his brother. Edward looked past him outside in the living room. The cat plush toy stared at him from the table where Alphonse had left it.

"Nothing..." Edward gulped and slowly put the covers over himself as Alphonse looked at his brother confused.

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**FEAR THE KITTY...that's the moral of this story. Is there a moral...?**

**-tsukiflower**


	5. That's It & Who?

**I decided I'll put two in each chapter from time to time.So enjoy these two!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...The kitty commands it...-moves away from the plush toy- **

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**THAT'S IT**

It was already almost noon and Edward was still asleep in his bed.

"Brother! WAKE UP! Brother!" Alphonse called his brother repeatedly but he simply turned and tossed.

"Won't wake up? FINE!" Alphonse ran into the kitchen. Edward still slept as Al's shadow formed over him. In Alphonse's hands was a water gun filled with milk. Alphonse aimed the gun at Ed's opened mouth and fired. Edward opened his eyes when he tasted the liquid and spit it out.

"You bastard!" Edward grabbed Al's head and ran. Al chased Ed around the room firing the water gun to get his head back.

**WHO?**

Five years old but armed with a wrench, Winry stomped into the kitchen with an empty jar in one hand and glared at Alphonse.

"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" Winry asked and pointed at Al.

"Was it you?"

"Who, me?" Al said surprised.

"Yes YOU!" Winry yelled.

"Couldn't be!" Al put on the most innocent look he could but stared at the wrench in Winry's hands with fear.

"Then who?"

Alphonse and Winry turned to Edward across the room obviously eating cookies.

"WHAMPHT?" Edward said with the cookies in his mouth.

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**Sorry for taking that little rhyme...I just thought of that for no reason. Hoped you enjoyed them!**

**-tsukiflower**


	6. Daddy Mustang

**Came up with a Father's Day story! Well...not exactly...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...it's very well protected by the kitty army. **

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**DADDY MUSTANG**

Edward entered the Colonel's office, angry as usual, and went straight to Mustang's desk.

"Okay, what the hell do you want NOW?" Edward glared at the Colonel.

"I have some news for you. It seems I had a little too much to drink and well..." Mustang handed him a paper. Edward looked and turned pale.

"T-this says you're legally my father now! How could you get drunk and do something like this?" Edward looked at Mustang who merely shrugged.

"Well, first thing I'm going to give you the talk. I know exactly where too." Mustang got up from his desk and put a hand on Edward's shoulder.

"Please don't tell me a strip club..." Edward said with frustration. Mustang stood there with his hand on his chin in thought.

"It is, isn't it?" Edward sighed.

"Is that bad?" Mustang said innocently.

"YOU'RE A HORRIBLE FATHER!" Edward yelled at his new dad.

"Fine. Let's go...fishing!" Mustang said as he dragged Edward out the office.

For five hours, in the middle of a lake, Mustang and Edward sat in a boat. Mustang kept talking about random things, miniskirts, power, Fuhrer, fire, bunnies...(?). Edward could barely take it any more.

"Isn't this fun?" Mustang smiled, suddenly he started singing.

"If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, make it last forever, friendship never ends!" Mustang sang in a high voice. Edward looked at him with a confused look and shoved him into the lake.

"Yes, this is fun." Edward smiled as Mustang slowly sank into the lake.

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**Mustang can be scary sometimes...hoped you...enjoyed it? -wonders what to think of it-**

**-tsukiflower**


	7. Revenge

**Here's another random story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... **

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**REVENGE**

"Brother wake up!" Alphonse kept pushing his brother trying to get him off the bed but he wouldn't budge.

"Fine!" Al ran off to get a water gun. Edward opened his eyes, reached under the bed and smiled. When Alphonse came back, Edward still seemed asleep. Al aimed the milk-filled water gun.

"AHA!" Edward pulled his arm up to reveal a much larger water gun he had hid under the bed and smirked.

"Now you're gonna pay!" Edward chased Al shooting the powerful water gun at him.

"AAH! Stop it Brother!" Alphonse screamed as Edward laughed.

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**Poor Al...he was just trying to help his brother get bigger...**

**-tsukiflower**


	8. My Weapon

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, now I have to go...do things..-grabs a water gun filled with milk- **

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**MY WEAPON**

Envy gave Edward an evil smirk as he faced the Elric brothers again.

"Our newest creation will definitely take you down, pipsqueak!" Envy said cheerfully.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Edward transmuted his automail arm into a blade.

"With this whistle, I can command it to do anything!" Envy stepped to the side to reveal, a small palm tree in a flower pot. Edward and Alphonse stared at it then began to laugh.

"What's the matter, Envy? Lonely?" Edward joked.

"SHUT UP! You shouldn't mock it. You don't know what it's capable of!" Envy blew the whistle but nothing happened. When he looked back, Gluttony was halfway through eating the plant.

"NO! JUNE! Stop eating her!" Envy yelled as he snatched the plant from him.

"June?" Alphonse said as Envy started petting the plant.

"Look what you did to her you stupid..." Envy whimpered. The Elric brothers just stared and soon started to walk away.

"We're supposed to be afraid of these guys?" Edward whispered.

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**See the homunculus have feelings too! Scary disturbing feelings...**

**-tsukiflower**


	9. So Hungry

**Enjoy another random story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... **

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**SO HUNGRY**

Hawkeye came in to find Mustang staring out the window with a pile of paperwork by him.

"COLONEL!" Hawkeye's voice made Mustang turn his head around quickly.

"Colonel, you'd better get to work on this paperwork, NOW. It's due today!" Hawkeye stood in front of his desk. Suddenly, a growl came from Mustang's stomach.

"Guess this paperwork will have to wait. I'm starving." Mustang smiled. As Mustang was about to stand up, Hawkeye took out her gun.

"No, you're going to finish the paperwork...then eat." Hawkeye ordered. Mustang gave her a puppy dog stare, but she kept her fierce glare at the Colonel.

"Okay..I'll get right on it." Mustang muttered.

"Oh, by the way, your son is here." Hawkeye motioned to the door where Edward had stood the whole time.

"Son? Oh, right. Nobody has set that straight yet?" Mustang shrugged and motioned Edward in. Hawkeye left the room as Edward sat down.

"So, what do you want, Edward?" Mustang looked at his paperwork with a frown.

"Well...I was going to ask you something...but you're busy." Edward relaxed himself and took out an apple Alphonse had given him. Mustang's stomach growled at the sight of it.

"Better get started on that paperwork." Edward sighed before taking a bite from the apple. Mustang glared at him but it only made Edward take another bite of the apple.

"This is really good!" Edward smiled eating the apple. Mustang tried to concentrate on his work but Edward loudly took another bite of the apple. Mustang gripped his pen hard trying to ignore the sound.

"Ah! That was great!" Edward said as he threw the apple away. Mustang looked at the finished snack with a sad look.

"Oh, wait! I have another one! Oh...But I'm full..." Edward looked at Mustang whose eyes filled with hope at the words.

"Well, I guess I'll just save this for later. See you later..dad." Edward gave Mustang an evil smirk and walked out his office. Mustang sat at his desk motionless before he got up and slammed his fist.

"WHAT ABOUT FAMILY LOVE?"

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**Poor Mustang...wonder if he ever got to eat...**

**Mustang still in his office at midnight with his head on his desk.**

**Mustang: Need food...**

**-tsukiflower**


	10. My Arm & Height Fairy

**Here's two more stories, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

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**MY ARM...**  
"Come on Brother! The map says this road leads to the town!" Alphonse pulled his brother's automail arm.

"No! This way's faster!" Edward tried to pull his arm away from Al. Suddenly, the automail arm broke in half.

"What the...Al, how strong ARE YOU?" Edward screamed. Suddenly, a shadow formed behind Edward.

"WINRY! Uh..I can explain...uh..." Alphonse and Edward stammered for a reason behind the accident.

"Uh...I love you?" Edward smiled as Winry took out a chainsaw.

"OH CRAP! Run Al!" The Elric brothers ran off in the distance as Winry chased them with the chainsaw.

**HEIGHT FAIRY**

"Brother, what are you doing hiding behind the sofa?" Alphonse asked but Edward merely motioned him to be quiet. Alphonse hid under the sofa with him and peeked out with Edward.

"Why is there a bottle of milk on the floor?" Alphonse asked.

"I'm trying to catch the height fairy." Edward showed him a butterfly net.

"Brother...you know that the height fairy isn't real..."

"Gotcha!" Edward jumped from behind the sofa and caught a small glowing creature.

"I knew the height fairy loved milk! Now I'll be tall..." Edward smiled evilly and ran into his room leaving Al speechless.

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**Edward would be very happy if it were that easy.**

**-tsukiflower**


	11. He What?

**This one here is the first time I've had a movie character in these stories...Thanks to everyone for the reviews and reading! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, but I have this palm tree!**

**Envy: -snatches the palm tree- I shall call you Maria! **

**Okay...enjoy the stories... **

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**HE WHAT?**

Edward was busy working in his room as Alphonse read a book in the living room. Heiderich sat at the nearby table working on blueprints for work.

"There! It's done." As Heiderich picked up his things to take to his room, a small notebook fell to the floor. Alphonse picked it up, looked at it curiously, and gave it back.

"Thanks. I need this." Heiderich smiled.

"What's it for?" Alphonse asked.

"It's...a tab of what your brother has spent on things like, food, drinks, that time he kept a stray dog for a bit..." Alphonse looked at Heiderich for a second with a confused look.

"My brother...kept a stray?" Al questioned. Heiderich showed him the notebook. Al flipped through the filled pages as his face grew serious.

"I...have to go...talk to my brother now." Al went to his brother's room and slowly closed the door. Heiderich stood near the door hearing Alphonse yell at his brother.

"I thought we couldn't keep pets! Brother..you got to keep a dog and I couldn't keep a cat?" Heiderich suddenly heard cats in the room.

"Wait a second! You have a cat army in this world too?" Edward said in disbelief. All Heiderich heard next was several cats and Edward screaming. When the door opened, Heiderich backed away. Alphonse came out with a smile.

"Hey there, Heiderich." Alphonse passed him. Heiderich looked in to see Edward on the floor traumatized whispering something.

"The kitties..."

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**Al and his cat army strike again!**

**-tsukiflower**


	12. The Braids

**Here's another!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. **

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**THE BRAIDS**

"Hey, Al..." Winry sat at the kitchen table at the Rockbell house. Alphonse turned from the window to face Winry.

"Yeah, Winry?"

"What would happen if we cut Ed's braids off?" Winry asked out of nowhere.

"Well...his hair would get shorter, that's simple, and he would probably get mad at us." Alphonse answered. Winry simply smirked at him.

"Let's do it." Winry smiled with a pair of scissors in her hands.

"I don't think we should..." Al was about to hesitate when Winry glared at him with the scissors still in hand.

"O-okay..." Al and Winry went to the living room where Edward was sitting on the sofa. He had fallen asleep though.

"Perfect." Winry slowly grabbed the braids and cut them off.

"See? Nothing happened!" Al said before Edward fell to the floor in front of the sofa.

"Oh my god! He's not dead, is he?" Winry screamed. Suddenly the braids stood up on their own.

"Finally, I'm free!" The braids shouted in a high-pitched voice.

"What the?" Winry and Alphonse stared at the braids laughing evilly.

"Now to take over Amestris by becoming Fuhrer!" The braids shouted before an explosion covered the room in smoke.

"No way in hell! Not before me!" Mustang came out of nowhere trying to burn the braids.

"Mr. Mustang! You're going to burn my house down!" Winry shouted chasing after the two.

"Brother, who knew your braids were pure evil?" Alphonse whimpered holding his brother.

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**That's why Edward's braids should never be cut off. Poor Edward...**

**-tsukiflower**


	13. First Meeting

**It's been a while..not too long though. Here's another story! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

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**FIRST MEETING**

Edward met up with Alphonse outside Central Headquarters after going to see the Colonel. However, rather than coming out alone, Edward had come back with Mustang.

"Colonel? Why are you here?" Alphonse asked confused.

"Well, you ARE my other son, seeing as I'm your brother's new father..." Mustang said. Alphonse just stared in the distance shocked.

"Don't worry, Al, I'll fix that up as soon---" Edward was trying to reassure Al before Al had shouted with joy.

"Yay! I have a daddy!"

"What the? NO, AL! He's a horrible father!" Edward tried to make Alphonse see the situation his way.

"Really?" Alphonse said beginning to feel disappointed.

"Alphonse, as your father, I'll let you keep all the kittens you want! Now, I'll give you the talk! Come!" Mustang smiled as Alphonse.

"Yay!" Alphonse shouted as he ran to his new father leaving Edward shocked.

"Mustang! You bastard! Making my brother betray me! Don't go with him, Al!" Edward ran after the two.

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**Couldn't help but want to write another Daddy Mustang story! Hope you enjoyed it!**

**-tsukiflower**


	14. The Wrench

**Another random story! I thought of this after reading Volume 3 of the manga, so...enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... **

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**THE WRENCH**

Edward had fallen asleep on the couch in the Rockbell house. As usual, he was sleeping with his stomach sticking out.

"Brother! You're going to catch a cold..." Alphonse scolded his sleeping brother.

"You're like his parent, Al." Winry laughed and bent down to put a blanket over Edward. Winry was about to stand up when Edward tossed the blanket aside with his arm, still asleep. Winry picked it up and put it back on him but Edward did the same thing.

"Why you little!" Winry took out her wrench to hit Edward but suddenly he moved his arm and pulled the blanket on him. He began to whimper under it.

"Huh?" Winry looked confused and checked to see if Edward was awake.

"Wow..." Alphonse said amazed.

"What?"

"It's like he could sense the wrench..." Alphonse whispered as Winry decided to swing the wrench near Edward to see if this was true. Edward whimpered louder as the wrench got near him.

"Whee!" Winry was having fun moving the wrench back and forth as Edward twitched in fear.

"Uh, Winry...? Winry? Maybe you should stop.." Alphonse called out to her, but Winry kept on.

"Why are the people around me so scary?" Alphonse walked out of the room muttering.

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**Umm...hope you enjoyed...it? -runs away-**

**-tsukiflower**


	15. Switched

**Here's another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, but, in a way, Mustang owns THE Fullmetal Alchemist...if he's his father...**

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**SWITCHED**

It had been two days since Edward and Alphonse had switched places. Al now had his body back, but with an automail arm and leg. Edward's soul was in the armor, and he was actually pretty happy about it.

"Hey, Al.." Edward snickered after getting his little brother's attention. Alphonse sighed.

"What?"

"How's the weather down there?" Edward started to laugh as Alphonse frowned.

"Brother, I told you to stop with these BAD jokes! I know you're tall!" Alphonse yelled at his now tall (and happy) brother.

"Damn right."

"WHAT?" Alphonse was happy to have his body, at least, but Edward's constant talks of height were irritating.

"Brother, that isn't your real body anyway, for all you know, your real body could be getting shorter in the gate..." Alphonse stopped and realized he had said the wrong thing.

"What did you say?" Edward stepped closer. Alphonse kicked the armor's head off and tried to run, but Edward tackled him.

"Ahh! Save me Super Kitty!" Alphonse screamed, trying to wriggle out of his brother's hands.

"There's no such thing, Al! Now stop moving so I can hit you!" Edward screamed, while the Tringham Brothers watched.

"Maybe we should do something, Big Brother..." Fletcher whimpered.

"Those two have serious issues...let them handle it." Russell walked down the sidewalk as Fletcher followed.

"Hey, Brother..."

"Yeah, Fletcher?"

"What's Super Kitty?"

"...I have no idea."

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**First time for the Tringham Brothers to appear in these stories! Not sure if they'll appear later though...hope you enjoyed the story!**

**-tsukiflower**


	16. Revived

**Another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...and neither does Super Kitty.**

**

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**REVIVED**

"There, she lives again!" Envy held up the small palm tree in a flower pot.

"Envy, you're not going to try and kill our human sacrifice again, are you?" Lust sighed. She looked back to see that Envy was already gone.

"She's more powerful than ever. She'll kill that pipsqueak for sure...and this time that Gluttony isn't around to eat her!" Envy smiled evilly and went out to look for the Elric brothers.

Edward and Alphonse were walking down the sidewalk when they came across Envy.

"YOU! Again?" Edward shouted pointing at Envy.

"I warned you not to taunt it.." Envy had the plant behind him again. The two brothers looked at it again trying not to laugh. Envy grew angry and blew the whistle he had. A light came from behind him followed by the sound of an explosion. Envy and the two brothers looked towards back in surprise.

"Scar!" Edward yelled.

"Who? Hey, what did you do to June?" Envy yelled at the stranger who stood beside the plant, that had been completely destroyed.

"This creature, was a sin against god...it had to be destroyed." Scar said unemotionally. Envy looked at him shocked.

"Why does everything I DON'T hate DIE?" Envy hugged the plant's few remains as Scar disappeared. Edward and Alphonse looked at each other.

"He REALLY needs a girlfriend." Edward said as the two walked away.

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**I just** **thought of making another story about Envy and his palm tree plant...poor June..or poor Envy?**

**-tsukiflower**


	17. June & The Swarm

**Here with two new stories! It's my birthday today, and I decided to write stories based on two reviews I got. Thank you to everyone for the reviews and for reading! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: It's a bottle of milk, no, a palm tree! No, wait! It's Super Kitty! Oh, wait...disclaimer...I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

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**JUNE**

"Okay, NOW, June will definitely..." Envy began to say to the already frustrated brothers.

"Envy, how many times are you going to try the same thing?" Edward sighed.

"Shut up!" Envy was about to blow the whistle when...

"WAIT!" A female voice came out of nowhere. The three looked around and realized it was the palm tree.

"I-it's really alive!" Alphonse gasped.

"Envy, every time you blow that whistle, I get killed! It's SO over between us! I'm going to go date Greed!" The plant said hopping away. Envy looked in the distance as the brothers stood shocked.

"Wow, dumped by a palm tree..." Edward laughed as Alphonse tried to comfort the homunculus.

**THE SWARM**

Armstrong had been showing off his muscles in Central Headquarters and of course that meant his sparkles. However, once Armstrong was done, the sparkles didn't leave. In fact, they stayed for several days, and more began to appear.

"Has anybody noticed all the sparkles around here?" Fuery tried to shoo the ones floating nearby. Hawkeye was hitting them with a fly swatter as Mustang tried to do his paperwork. Suddenly Mustang made a choking noise.

"Colonel?" Havoc said.

"Agh, I think I swallowed one!" Mustang began to spit with a disgusted look on his face. "Okay, that's it!" Mustang aimed for one of the sparkles with his glove.

"I don't think that's a good idea..." Hawkeye tried to stop the Colonel, but it was too late. Mustang succeeded at getting it, but it suddenly started to go towards him. The other sparkles followed the burning one.

"Get them away from me! Hawkeye, do something!" Mustang screamed running away from the swarm of sparkles. Hawkeye took out her gun and aimed at the sparkles.

"NO! You nearly shot me!" Mustang tried to avoid the bullets while Hawkeye kept shooting.

"Popcorn?" Havoc offered Fuery out of nowhere. Fuery shrugged and the two sat down to watch Mustang and Hawkeye.

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**Well, very strange...but I hope you enjoyed them!**

**-tsukiflower**


	18. Replacement?

**Another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**

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****REPLACEMENT?**

Alphonse entered the dorm room where him and his brother where staying. He opened the door to find Edward looking at him with a smile on his face. In his hands, he held something covered by a towel.

"Brother, what's that?" Alphonse asked curiously.

"Oh, hey there Alphonse One!" Edward smiled towards his confused brother.

"Uh, Alphonse One?" As Alphonse wondered what he meant, Edward took off the towel and revealed something to him.

"MEET ALPHONSE TWO! He's the NEW Alphonse!" Alphonse stared shocked at his older brother.

"BROTHER! That's a toaster!" Alphonse yelled at his brother.

"Yeah, but, it makes yummy waffles..." Edward plugged it in, made waffles, and then ate them.

"Well, I have to go to work now, bye Alphonse Two!" Edward walked out the door. Alphonse stared at the toaster and placed it by the window.

When Edward walked towards the military dorm building, he saw a completely smashed toaster on the sidewalk underneath a opened window.

"ALPHONSE TWO!" Edward ran to look at the smashed toaster. He then ran up to the dorm room.

"AL!" Edward shouted and looked towards the open window in their room. He walked towards it but suddenly froze. By the open window...was Alphonse's plush toy, Kitty.

"Brother?" Alphonse looked towards his brother.

"Al, you did it, right? You're the one who threw Alphonse Two out the window, right?" Edward nervously asked.

"Huh? I was trying to make waffles in the kitchen this whole time. I put it by the window, sorry...It must have fallen off...hey! What's Kitty doing there?" Alphonse picked the plush toy up as Edward stared at it frozen. He placed it on the table.

"I need to kill that thing..." Edward muttered turning away from the plush toy, but he tripped on something.

"What the?" Edward looked to his feet to see Kitty there. He froze at first and then ran off to his room and locked the door.

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**Oh, by the way, Al really didn't do anything...oh, and once again...FEAR THE KITTY!**

**-tsukiflower**


	19. Be Thoughtful!

**Another! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...**

**Envy: -passing by-June, come back to me!**

**Okay... **

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**BE THOUGHTFUL!**

Edward and Alphonse had come back home to visit Winry. They were staying at her house in Resembool, today, though, they had gone out. Winry was in kitchen when she heard the door open and in entered Edward swearing under his breath.

"What's wrong, Edward?" Winry asked entering the living room as Edward sat on the sofa.

"Al's asking to keep a damn cat again. I keep telling him, no!" Edward grumbled.

"Come on, Edward. Just let him keep it...Do something nice for your brother!" Edward didn't say anything, stood up, and walked out to find Al. As he walked out, he saw the cat Al had found walking nearby. He picked it up and kept walking. He ended up finding Al sitting near the river.

"Hey Al!" Edward walked near his brother, who turned around.

"Here, you can keep the cat." Edward held out the cat as Al laughed with joy.

"Really?" Al was about to take the cat when he froze.

"This isn't some kind of trick, is it?" Al remembered all the times Edward had rejected his request.

"NO! Take it!" Ed yelled, but Al just stood there.

"Um, never mind!" Al answered nervously and backed away from his brother. Winry had followed to see what had happened and found a very strange scene.

"Can't you see I'm trying to be nice? TAKE IT!" Edward was screaming running after Alphonse holding out the cat.

"NOOO!" Al yelled and kept running away.

"What the hell?" Winry sighed and walked away to leave the two brothers in their bizarre situation.

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**Poor Edward tries to be nice and he ends up scaring Al...**

**-tsukiflower**


	20. Winry's Secret

**I wrote another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...and I love Kitty! -laughs nervously and backs away from Kitty- **

* * *

**WINRY'S SECRET**

"Again..." Winry grumbled looking at the automail arm which was broken. Edward sat on the sofa of the Rockbell house shaking.

"Hold on, I'll go get my tools, I ought to break YOU..." Winry mumbled walking away as Edward sighed. Alphonse was looking through the bookcase nearby, trying not to interfere in the situation.

"Brother, look at this!" Alphonse took out an photo album shut with a small lock. On the cover it read "My Love". Edward stood up and the two stared at the book. Edward looked to see if Winry was around and clapped his hands.

"What are you doing, Brother?" Alphonse asked as Edward broke the small lock with alchemy.

"Let's just take a little peek and then I'll fix the lock.." Edward opened the book. The two stared at it disturbed by what they saw.

"These...these are close-up photos of my AUTOMAIL!" Edward whispered loudly. He turned the pages to find it filled with nothing but photos of his arm and leg.

"And these photos are of ME when I HAVE the automail! I don't remember anyone taking photos of me!" Edward shut the album and put the lock back on shaking. He looked nervously at Alphonse who merely whimpered and put it away.

"There! Now...hey...what's wrong with you guys?" Winry walked into the room to see Al backing away from her and Edward trying to hide his automail arm.

* * *

**Hope you...enjoyed..it...That was...scary...uh...-speechless- -runs away-**

**-tsukiflower**


	21. Chicken Noodle Soup

**Another story! Once again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed and has read! Enjoy! (I always find myself writing that...)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, I own an Alphonse Two though! -looks for the toaster, finds it smashed to pieces beside Kitty-...Never mind... **

* * *

**CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP**  
"Here Brother! My first time making food since I became a suit of armor!" Alphonse placed the bowl of chicken noodle soup in front of Edward. Edward stared at it worried but looked at his anxious brother.

"Al worked all day on this, I'm sure he didn't do so bad, just because he can't taste food..." Edward thought picking up the spoon. He dipped it in, and sipped.

"Well?" Alphonse asked his brother who still had the spoon in his mouth. Edward suddenly threw the bowl of soup through the window, breaking it.

"THAT WAS GREAT! MORE!" Edward held out his hands towards his confused brother.

"If you liked it, why did you throw it out the window?" Alphonse asked Edward. Edward thought for a second.

"I wanted to share it with the world!" Edward shouted laughing. Alphonse stepped back.

"I'm never cooking something for you again."

* * *

**Umm...apparently Al's cooking makes Ed hyper. (too hyper)..so he must never cook again. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**-tsukiflower**


	22. The Book

**Yay! Another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

* * *

**THE BOOK**  
Edward sat at a table in one of the military headquarter's rooms. Alphonse came in to find him with his hand on his chin clearly thinking about something deeply.

"Brother, what is it?" Alphonse asked. Edward was looking at the contents of a small notebook with a solid dark red cover.

"I found this notebook on the floor here, it looks like the notes of an alchemist..." Edward said pointing at the circles and letters drawn in it.

"It looks interesting...I just can't figure out what it means!" Edward scratched his head. Alphonse sat down looking at the notes and both decided to try and decipher it.

"It's hopeless..." Edward said after the two had spent five hours scribbling possible answers and scratching them out. Just when Edward put his head down, Hughes came into the room.

"Hey you two! Oh! You found Elysia's sketchbook! I've been looking for it everywhere..Isn't she a beautiful artist? Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Hughes sighed at the thought of his angelic daughter and walked out of the room. Edward and Alphonse stared into space.

"Al..."

"Yes, brother?"

"Never speak of this to anyone." Edward said before clapping his hands to disintegrate the notes they had taken of the sketchbook.

* * *

**Wow...that's...really bad...-walks away-**

**-tsukiflower**


	23. Thank You!

**I made a fanart to thank everyone for 5000+ hits for Shrimps & Kitties! Just go here: www . geocities . com / sapphireruby5 / thankyou . PNG - Just get rid of all the spaces put there! Once again, thank you to everyone reading and to those who also review! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...-sees a poster-**

**"Have you seen this palm tree? If so, call Envy."**

**Okay...well enjoy the story...**

**

* * *

**

**THANK YOU!**

"Hey Brother! We got a package!" Alphonse said entering their dorm room at the military headquarters.

"Really? From who?"

"From tsukiflower, Thank you!" Alphonse read. "That's all it says..."

"Who the hell is that?" Edward asked as Alphonse shrugged and opened the package to reveal an Edward Elric doll.

"Wow! It looks just like you!" Al said. He squeezed the doll a bit and Edward made a whimpering noise.

"Are you okay, Brother?" Al looked at his brother who looked at his stomach confused.

"Yeah..." Edward responded before Al squeezed the doll again.

"Ow!" Edward held his sides. Al looked at the doll and his brother and started to poke the doll in the stomach. Edward began to laugh.

"St-stop it!" Edward kept laughing.

"Hey, brother, can I keep a cat?" Al asked.

"What? No!" Edward shouted until Al started to tickle the doll again making Edward laugh.

"How about now?"

"Dammit Al! Cut that out!" Edward was about to take the doll away when Mustang came and snatched it.

"Hmmm..." Mustang looked at the doll and whispered something into it's ear. Edward suddenly started to speak.

"When I grow up, I want to be big and strong like my hero, future Fuhrer Roy Mustang!" Edward held his mouth shut as Mustang smiled.

"You bastard, give me that!" Edward tried to take it away as Mustang kept whispering things to the doll.

"I like to put my hair down and call myself a pretty girl in the bathroom mirror!" Edward said before he grew furious at Mustang and clapped his hands to transmute the floor.

"I'm not letting you keep that doll!" Edward transmuted the floor to grab Mustang, who was putting on his gloves ready to fight.

After the fight, the dorm building was reduced to nothing. Edward walked towards Mustang who was exhausted. He grabbed his hands to find them empty.

"Wh-where's the doll?" Edward shouted. Then he saw it, on the sidewalk, beside what else but Alphonse's plush toy, Kitty.

"N-nooo!" Edward stood frozen before falling to the ground. He stared at the plush toy wondering what to do...

* * *

**Poor Edward... -runs away-**

**-tsukiflower**


	24. Disturbing & He Went That Far?

**Got to writing two new ones! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**** I'd probably do horrible things if I did... **

* * *

**DISTURBING...**

Edward and Alphonse sat on the sofa in their dorm room bored. Edward was reading a book when Alphonse suddenly grabbed his nose, let go, and wriggled his finger.

"Got your nose!" Al said to his perplexed brother.

"Yeah, well...I got your head!" Edward said taking Al's helmet off.

"Well, I have your arm!" Al said annoyed and took Ed's automail arm off with ease. Edward grew angry and tried to grab his arm which fell from Al's hands out the window. As Edward and Alphonse ran outside, a dog came and snatched the arm.

"Give that back you stupid dog!" Ed ran after the dog with Al's head still in his hands.

"Brother! Give me my head back first!" Al shouted running after his brother passing people by headless.

**HE WENT THAT FAR?**

First Lieutenant Hawkeye entered the office to find the lights off and candles on the desk. Sitting on the desk, was Colonel Mustang, holding a guitar and champagne glasses.

"Riza! Fancy meeting you here." Mustang said in a low voice.

"I...work here?" Hawkeye sighed. Mustang stood up and gave her a rose.

"Would you like some champagne?"

"Colonel..."

"Or maybe I should sing you a song accompanied by my guitar?" Mustang began to play the guitar badly.

"Colonel! You're only doing this so I'll forget you have paperwork due." Hawkeye said turning on the lights. "Get started." Hawkeye blew the candles out and walked out the room leaving Mustang alone.

"Damn it..." Mustang whispered returning to his desk to do his paperwork and tossing the guitar to the floor.

* * *

**Very very strange...Hope you enjoyed them!**

**-tsukiflower**


	25. Amazing

**Here's another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

* * *

**AMAZING**

Alphonse walked through one of the hallways of Central Headquarters and entered the Colonel's office. He sat down on the sofa as Mustang did paperwork.

"Don't worry, the shrimp will be back soon from his mission.." Mustang told Alphonse who had been walking around trying to find something to do.

"Uh...I'm not sure...you should say that.." Alphonse warned the Colonel.

"You mean "shrimp"?" Mustang chuckled at the fact Edward was nowhere to hear it. "It's not like he has super hearing or something." Mustang laughed when he heard loud stomps on the floor below and an angry voice.

"OKAY! Who the hell called me a shrimp? I know someone did!" Edward shouted on the first floor. The sounds of people being thrown to the floor were heard.

"Good luck, Alphonse!" Mustang patted him on the back and hid under his desk. Edward entered the room, breaking the door. He walked up to Alphonse with an expression of pure rage.

"Brother! I didn't! It wasn't me! Calm down!" Al stuttered waving his hands in front of him. For a second, Edward stayed silent, and then turned his attention to the desk. He laughed maniacally still panting from running to headquarters.

"I can hear you breathing, you know." Edward chuckled evilly. Mustang sat under the desk, speechless. Edward suddenly put his hand to his ear.

"Dammit! Someone in Resembool called me short! Wait there! Don't think you won't pay!" Edward pointed at the desk and ran off to catch the next train.

"Brother! Stop!" Alphonse went running after him as Mustang came out of hiding.

"That boy isn't human..." Mustang muttered.

* * *

**I'm glad that's not possible...or is it..? -very afraid-**

**-tsukiflower**


	26. Plants

**There we go, another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

* * *

**PLANTS**

Lust looked at Envy who sat in a corner whispering the same thing.

"Come back, June..come back.."

"Envy..."

"Hmm?" Envy turned around to see Lust holding a palm tree in a flower pot.

"Here! It's not June, but if it'll get you to stop this..." Lust said frustrated. Envy held the palm tree, looked at it, and gave it back.

"What? You don't want it?" Lust was getting angry.

"It's a boy palm tree.." Envy muttered. Lust shoved the palm tree in his hands.

"How do you even now? Just take it so you can get back to work!" Lust shouted when the door opened. There stood June.

"Envy!" June shouted.

"June! You came back!" Envy shouted happily.

"You cheater!" The plant shouted.

"What?" Envy suddenly realized he was still holding the other palm tree.

"Cheating on me, and...is that a guy? That's it! I'm going to date that Russell guy I met! He probably knows how to treat plants with respect!" June hopped out the door. Envy stared at the door for a second and threw the other palm tree on the floor breaking the flower pot.

"Breaking up with your new boyfriend already?" Lust said.

"Shut up!"

* * *

**Guess it didn't work with Greed...Oh well...**

**-tsukiflower**


	27. I'm Who?

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews and for reading! Here's another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...-looks around, whispers- or the shrimp...**

**Ed: I heard that!**

**I still find that scary! Enjoy the story, I have to try and flee the country... **

* * *

**I'M WHO?**

Edward had ended up in a different world after getting his brother's body back. Now, Alphonse wore his brother's red coat and was searching for him.

Alphonse and Winry were in Resembool looking at the sunset leaning on a fence.

"I miss Ed.." Winry said sighing.

"Me too..."

"You know, you kinda look like Edward with that coat on.."

"Huh?" Alphonse said confused and looked at Winry, who stared at him with her eyes shining.

"Winry, why are you looking at me like that?" Alphonse started to back away from her.

"I know! You can be Edward now!" Winry said with a demented smile.

"What?" Al started to get nervous.

"All we need is to get that arm off and give you automail!" Winry giggled taking out a saw. Alphonse stared at her shocked and started to run.

"Winry! Stop! I'm not my brother!" Alphonse screamed with Winry chasing him.

"Don't worry Edward! This won't hurt much!"

* * *

**Yeah...Winry is..scary...-runs away-**

**-tsukiflower**


	28. The Stone!

**Here's another story! Enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**-----------------------------------------**

**THE STONE!**

Edward and Alphonse were in their dorm room at military headquarters when they heard a knock on the door. Al went to open the door.

"Winry!" Alphonse exclaimed surprised.

"Hello! I came to visit!" Winry put her suitcase down and walked to Edward, who was laying on the couch. "How have things been going?" She said eyeing Ed's automail.

"Fine! I didn't break it!" Edward knew immediately what she meant and sat up.

"We're still looking for anything on the Philosopher's Stone, though.." Alphonse sighed.

"Everywhere we go, any information, it's always a dead end. That thing is so damn hard to find." Edward grumbled angrily.

"But it's right there." Winry said pointing underneath the couch.

"WHAT?" Edward said shocked and looked down. Winry crouched down and pulled a red stone from underneath.

"Is this it?" Winry wondered showing it to the two brothers. Edward put his hand to his face frustrated.

"Wait, you mean to tell me we've looked everywhere and it was under the couch the whole time? How the hell is that possible?" Edward shouted as Alphonse checked the stone.

"It looks like it might be the real thing, brother!" Al exclaimed.

"Hey, there are some papers under here too!" Winry took them out and handed them to Al.

"How to become Fuhrer in ten easy steps." read Alphonse, "That's the first page's title and the second..." when Al finished saying that, Edward grabbed the papers and ripped them to shreds. He then opened the window and let them blow away.

"Brother! What did you do that for?" Alphonse yelled at his older brother.

"There's no way I'm letting that bastard Colonel get his hands on that.." Edward smirked as he closed the window.

"Brother, the second paper's title was..." Al said quietly, "How to make yourself taller using alchemy and still obey equivalent exchange." Edward looked at his brother and turned around to open the window again.

"Wait! Come back you stupid papers!" Edward screamed while Alphonse held him back from jumping out the window.

"Brother, don't do it!"

"Edward, are you insane?" Winry shouted holding him back too.

"I want to be tall, dammit!" Edward shouted waving his hands in the air.

**-----------------------------------------**

**So it was there all along...**

**-tsukiflower**


	29. Fear or Hate?

**Here's another story! A bit short, but I'll try to have another one soon!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

----------------------------

**FEAR OR HATE?**

"Come on, brother. Just drink it! It won't kill you!" Alphonse shouted to his brother. Edward had finished eating but refused to drink the milk Al had given him.

"How do you know it won't? Those damn cows are probably planning something..." Edward glared at the milk while Alphonse sighed.

"You shouldn't be such a baby, brother! Don't be so afraid of it!"

"Afraid? I'm not afraid! I just hate it! You have things you hate too, you know!" Edward yelled back.

"I don't hate anything..."

"TELETUBBY!" Edward pointed past Al, who quickly looked back.

"Where? WHERE THE HELL IS IT?" Al said (surprisingly) in an angry and loud voice. He soon calmed down and looked at his brother who was smirking. Alphonse took the milk, poured it in the sink, and walked into his room closing the door.

"I love how that always works." Edward thought as he chuckled.

----------------------------

**Also, I don't own Teletubbies...It is possible they exist in Ed and Al's world too...-looks around suspiciously-**

**-tsukiflower**


	30. Mr Happy

**Okay! Finally got to another story! Hope to get to more soon, for now, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... **

* * *

**MR. HAPPY**

"Why do I have to come see you..." Edward grumbled glaring at Mustang who sat at his desk. Alphonse stood next to his brother and sighed.

"Edward, don't be such a baby..." Mustang mumbled looking at a file.

"What?" Edward stood up ready to fight. Suddenly the door flew open.

"Looks like two people need to talk to Mr. Happy!" Hughes shouted with joy.

"Mr. Happy?" Edward asked confused. Hughes showed him a puppet he had on his hands with a smiley face.

"Damn it, not Mr. Happy..." Mustang put his hand on his face.

"Come on, Ed! Cheer up! Do you need a hug from Mr. Happy?" Hughes said in a high voice moving the puppet towards Edward.

"N-NO! I'm happy, just don't come near me!" Edward backed away quickly from the puppet and hid behind Alphonse.

"What about you, Roy?" Hughes said to Mustang as the puppet.

"I think Mr. Happy needs to meet Mr. and Mrs. Flame Gloves..." Mustang said putting on his gloves. Hughes moved the puppet away from him.

"Geez, I'm just trying to bring a little peace between the two of you." Hughes left the office and took off the puppet.

"Well, at least, we agree on one thing. We don't like Mr. Happy." Mustang said standing next to Edward.

"Yes..." Edward groaned trying to forget the strange incident.

* * *

**So much for Mr. Happy...**

**-tsukiflower**


	31. The Other

**Another one! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**Hughes: Would you like to say hello to Mr. Happy?**

**N-no...-backs away- Anyway, enjoy the story... **

* * *

**THE OTHER**

"Damn that Colonel, it's about time I added him..." Edward said leaving Mustang's office.

"Added him?" Alphonse asked confused.

"Yup, TO MY ENEMIES LIST!" Edward shouted taking a long sheet of paper out of nowhere. He began to write Mustang's name at the end of it. Alphonse looked at it over Edward's shoulder.

"HEY! Why is MY name there?" Alphonse pointed to his name on the long list.

"Uh...that's another Al?" Edward moved away trying to hide the paper. Al snatched it from his hands.

"Then why does it say, 'Little brothers shouldn't be taller than their big brothers, damn it?'" Alphonse read. Edward looked away nervously.

"Uh...because...I have another little brother!" Edward shouted. Al stepped back shocked.

"His name was Al, he looked just like you, except...he was pure evil..." Edward lowered his voice. "Then, one day he escaped...he could be around here right now..." Edward continued to talk in a low voice but Al was getting frustrated.

"Brother, stop lying like this just to--" Alphonse said before Edward pointed behind him.

"There he is!" Edward kept pointing but Alphonse didn't look back.

"You're just trying to trick me so I can look away." Al grumbled until he heard someone laughing evilly in a familiar voice.

"I am the evil genius, Alphonse! You'll never stop me!" The other Al shouted. He was wearing a long black cape over his clothes.

"Damn it, you're not escaping again!" Edward chased the boy who kept laughing while running away.

"This...doesn't make any sense..." Al whimpered slowly walking away.

* * *

**Evil Al...scary...**

**-tsukiflower**


	32. Calling

**Yay! Here is another story! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

* * *

**CALLING**

Hawkeye was sleeping peacefully in her bed when the telephone began to ring. She grumbled and picked it up.

"HELLO?"

"Lieutenant! Th-the horror, it was worse than any war..." Mustang stuttered at the end of the other line. Hawkeye sighed frustrated.

"WHAT?"

"I dreamt I was Fuhrer, and I could finally have my own personal harem! But..." Mustang stayed silent for a second as Hawkeye waited.

"There were no women!" Mustang shouted terrified.

"Colonel, did you call me for any REAL reason?" Hawkeye yelled at Mustang.

"Yes..." Mustang's voice grew serious as he answered. It was silent for a few seconds.

"What is it, Colonel?" Hawkeye listened closely.

"What are you wearing?" Mustang asked sweetly before Hawkeye hung up, took out her gun, and shot the phone. She lied back down and relaxed.

"I have to remember to bring Black Hayate tomorrow to get him for waking me up at THREE IN THE MORNING!" Hawkeye thought as she went back to sleep.

* * *

**The poor phone...**

**-tsukiflower**


	33. Piggyback

**Another chapter! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**Evil Al: But soon I will! That and the world! -laughs evilly and runs-**

**That's not good...well enjoy the story...**

* * *

**PIGGYBACK**

Russell and Edward were talking to each other about alchemy, when Russell noticed Fletcher has fallen asleep.

"Let's talk tomorrow, I should get him home." Russell said picking his little brother up.

"Yeah, I guess.." Edward said as Russell put the boy on his shoulders and looked at Ed.

"I guess you can't carry Al like this, huh?" Russell laughed at Ed, who suddenly got angry.

"ARE YOU CALLING ME SHORT, YOU BASTARD? I'll show you!" Edward looked towards Alphonse.

"Wait, brother! You can't carry me!" Alphonse waved his hands trying to stop Ed.

"Don't be stupid! OF COURSE I CAN! Any BIG brother can carry his LITTLE brother!" Edward grabbed Al and lifted him up. Surprisingly, Ed was able to stand while carrying Al. "SEE?" Edward looked in Russell's direction grinning.

"Y-you can really carry me?" Al asked him. Russell looked at the two amazed.

"I guess you can..." Russell left without saying another word. After he was gone, Edward immediately fell forward.

"Oh no! Brother! Are you ok?" Alphonse asked forgetting he was on top of Ed.

"Can't breathe..."

* * *

**Well...at least Edward won...**

**-tsukiflower**


	34. No More?

**Wow...it's been a while, sorry! Here's another story! I'd like to thank everyone for...wow...11100+ hits! Thank you to everyone who has read and to those who also review! I decided to do another story about Daddy Mustang...so, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

**

* * *

**

**NO MORE?**

Alphonse was walking back to the dorm building when he heard a familiar voice.

"Hey there, Alphonse!" Alphonse turned around when he heard the Colonel greet him.

"Oh, hello there, dad!" Alphonse said happily.

"Ah, that reminds me...I have a note you need to read.." Mustang searched through his pockets and found a paper. "Ah, there you go." Alphonse read the note and moved back shocked.

"I'M PREGNANT WITH YOUR CHILD?" Alphonse yelled nervously and looked at the Colonel.

"Uh...that's for someone else.." Mustang quickly snatched the note, laughed nervously, and put it back in his pocket, while Alphonse wondered who it was meant for. "Here, THIS one's for you." He handed Al another note.

"Oh...okay...t-thank you.." Alphonse said just as he began to read it. "Oh...so you're not our dad anymore?"

"Yes, just tell Edward that too." Mustang waved goodbye to Alphonse. Al was already out of sight when Mustang remembered something. "Wait...maybe I should have told him that I got drunk again and now Major Armstrong's their father??" Mustang thought to himself, but shrugged and walked away.

In the dorms, Edward was dealing with his NEW father.

"That's it, Edward Elric! Flex your muscles like this!" Armstrong said as he showed his muscles to the embarrassed shirtless boy who was trying to flex his muscles too.

"DAMN YOU COLONEL..." Edward muttered under his breath.

"Soon you'll have sparkles too!" Armstrong shouted joyfully to Edward who started to whimper.

* * *

**Wonder what will happen to Al when HE gets there...-worried-**

**-tsukiflower**


	35. New Feature & Medical Visit

**Here's two more stories! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Fullmetal Alchemist! Or the cat army...Al owns that... **

* * *

**NEW FEATURE**

Edward, Alphonse, and Winry were walking in town.

"Edward, guess what? I added something new to your automail arm!" Winry said proudly.

"What now?" Edward asked worried looking at his arm. Winry took out a control and pressed a button. Suddenly, the automail arm came off and ran away on its fingers. It began to chase after a woman.

"Psycho arm!" The woman screamed as she ran away. Other people soon started to shout and scream.

"Help! It's attacking me!"

"Someone get the military!"

Winry looked at the chaos the arm was causing and started to move away.

"Oh well...minor glitches, but uh..." Winry quickly said before she ran off.

"What the? Damn it, Winry! Get back here and stop it before I go to jail for what you did!" Edward chased her as Alphonse followed.

**MEDICAL VISIT**

It was always a problem when Edward had a medical check-up at military headquarters.

"You'll never take me alive!" Edward yelled grabbing a lollipop nearby and swinging it at Alphonse and the doctor.

"Brother, why do you ALWAYS have to do this? You just need a shot!" Alphonse shouted to his brother.

"No, Al. I learned the horrible truth behind shots when we were little!" Edward kept swinging the lollipop back and forth like a weapon.

"What?"

"That the cows are behind it and they want to inject us to make us one of them!" Edward said with a serious face. Alphonse looked at him confused.

"I don't know what you mean, just calm down, and please put the lollipop down." Alphonse was about to grab his brother when Edward grabbed the doctor.

"Don't make me use it, Al!" Edward said holding the lollipop to the doctor's neck.

"So this is why this boy has never had the same doctor for his check-ups..." The doctor thought hoping the young state alchemist would stop eventually. Suddenly a pair of soldiers entered to calm Edward down and as soon as he saw them, he jumped out the window. He then landed on the sidewalk and began to run.

"Never!" Edward yelled as he ran off with the soldiers following him.

"Well, at least it went better than last time." Alphonse sighed. "At least he didn't steal the Colonel's gloves and try to blow up headquarters again..."

* * *

**Yes, Edward really doesn't like the doctor's...wonder why there are lollipops at the military doctor's office...-imagines Mustang getting one after a check-up-**

**-tsukiflower**


	36. The Al Signal

**Okay! Another story! Hope everyone enjoys it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist... **

* * *

**THE AL SIGNAL**

Already night, Edward and Winry had gone grocery shopping.

"Hey where's Al? He could help us with these bags..." Winry asked looking around.

"Don't worry. I'll use the Al signal!" Edward said taking a flashlight from one of his coat's pockets.

"Al signal?" Winry mumbled looking at Edward. He pressed the switch to turn it on. He pointed it to the sky to show a cat shaped image.

"Did someone call me? Is a cat in danger?" Alphonse shouted wearing his loincloth as a cape.

"W-what the hell?" Winry shouted backing away from Al.

"No, we just need someone to carry these bags." Edward responded to Al showing him the bags.

"I told you not to use that flashlight unless it was an emergency..." Al grumbled as many glowing eyes began to appear behind him.

"Wait..Al...I-I...crap!" Edward yelled before running for his life from the army of cats.

"How do you do that?" Winry asked.

"I'm the head of a cat gang!" Alphonse said cheerfully.

"I-I see..." Winry said before slowly moving away from Al.

* * *

**Yes, the return of the cat army...**

**-tsukiflower**


	37. Dog of the Military

**Whoa...it's been so long! I need to write more often! Anyway, here's another story!**

**Thanks to everyone for reviewing and reading! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, but I can use the Al signal! **

* * *

**DOG OF THE MILITARY**

"You look adorable, sir." Hawkeye said in a monotonous voice. Outside Central Headquarters, Mustang stood wearing a mascot outfit of a dog in a military uniform with balloons in hand.

"First Lieutenant!" Mustang yelled knowing how comical he looked. "Why, why did the Fuhrer pick ME to do this?"

"All you have to do is hand out those balloons to children. The Fuhrer wants people to see the military isn't so bad, I guess." Hawkeye answered. "Just bear it and try to smile."

"I'd better get promoted after something like this.." Mustang grumbled. He turned away from her when he suddenly heard someone snickering.

"This is...too good..." Edward stood by him trying not to laugh too hard.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Mustang shouted at the young alchemist.

"I don't even remember anymore..." Edward started to laugh hysterically.

"Okay, that's it!" Mustang rolled up his sleeve and put on one of his gloves. Edward and Mustang proceeded to using alchemy to attack each other as children walking nearby cheered.

"Well..the children are enjoying it.." Hawkeye said watching the two. In the crowd, the Tringham brothers watched.

"Why is that dog man attacking Edward?" Fletcher questioned.

"We really need to stop running into him..." Russell sighed.

"Come back, honey!" June shouted to Russell.

"And why ARE YOU dating a palm tree, brother?"

"I AM NOT! Now run!" Russell grabbed Fletcher before June could reach him.

* * *

**Poor Colonel...hopefully he didn't get in trouble for what happened...and it must be scary to be followed by a talking palm tree...-shudders-**

**-tsukiflower**


	38. New Year's Eve

**Very strange story...to end the year! Enjoy everyone!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, wait...no. **

* * *

**NEW YEAR'S EVE**

Everyone was having a party in Mustang's office on New Year's Eve. Everything was going just fine..until someone gave Edward some champagne.

"I am the great metal king, Zephus!" Edward shouted wearing Al's armor head on his and wearing his coat as a cape. Breda, Falman, and Havoc stood nearby laughing, while Mustang played badly on his guitar. Hawkeye stayed as far away as possible because she knew they had all had a little too much to drink.

"My first order as king is to ban milk from this country and get the moon back from those damn sea monkeys!" Edward said.

"W-wait a second, Fullmetal." Roy interrupted Ed's speech. "What about the miniskirts?"

"Right! All the sea monkeys will be forced wear miniskirts!" Edward yelled to the group. The men cheered for no apparent reason as Hawkeye shook her head.

"BROTHER! Give me back my head!" Alphonse slammed the door open. He walked in as the group looked with fright at the headless suit of armor. "I also want to know WHY you tied me up!" Alphonse shouted holding the ropes he got free from.

"What is that, king?" Falman whimpered to Edward.

"It's the king of the sea monkeys! I thought I had defeated it! He must be after the queen!" Edward said and turned his attention to Hawkeye.

"WHAT?" Hawkeye backed away until she felt someone grab her.

"Don't worry! I'll protect her, king!" Mustang said carrying her on one of his shoulder.

"LET ME GO!" Hawkeye shouted enraged. Mustang carried her outside the room.

"Come on, everyone! Let us defeat the king!" Edward yelled leading the others to attack Al.

"No, brother! Stop!" Alphonse ran out of the room.

After ending up outside, Edward and the others got arrested. Luckily, Hughes got them out in exchange for them spending the rest of the night as he showed photos of Elysia to ring in the new year.

Edward never got to get the moon back from the sea monkeys...

* * *

**Bizarre story I thought of...(then again they're all strange...)**

**Still not New Year's here, but to the people that it is...**

**Happy New Year everyone!**

**Thank you for the reviews and for reading! (maybe one day Ed will get those sea monkeys..)**


	39. Shiny

**Yay! Another story! **

**Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist, I don't own it. **

* * *

SHINY

"Brother...I was thinking of changing my loincloth...it's too plain..." Alphonse said looking at it. Edward walked towards him.

"All right! No problem!" Edward clapped his hands and touched the loincloth. "There you go!"

Alphonse looked at the loincloth to see it was now gold and had the words "My older brother is the greatest." He looked at his brother in disbelief.

"Don't you love it?" Edward smirked.

"Not really...and why do you have sparkles next to you?" Alphonse pointed at the sparkles.

"What? Damn you, Major Armstrong!" Edward began to wave his hands to keep the sparkles away. Alphonse watched his brother as the sparkles began to cover his face.

"NO! They're attacking me! How could they betray their master?" Edward fell on the floor face down.

"Are you okay?" Alphonse called as Edward lay on the floor motionless. "Brother?" Suddenly Edward got up.

"WHAT THE?" Alphonse stared at his brother who now had a mustache like Armstrong.

"HELLO THERE LITTLE BROTHER ALPHONSE ELRIC!"

"BROTHER?" Alphonse shouted backing away.

"Behold my beauty!" Edward said taking off his shirt and flexing.

"O-oh no...the sparkles turned him into an Armstrong!" Alphonse whimpered as he looked to his side and saw some near him.

"Join me, little brother!"

"NO!" Alphonse said running away.

* * *

**Edward Armstrong...is not a good thing...**

**-tsukiflower**


	40. Injections

**Yes, another! Once again, thank you to everyone who reads! Also a thank you to those who review! This story is to pretty much explain why Edward hates injections so much...Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alche--- -sees sparkles- NO! -runs away-**

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**INJECTIONS**

In the doctor's office at military headquarters, Edward sat down on a chair. Alphonse stood near him as Mustang entered the room.

"Edward, I don't know how to say this...but...because of the injection...you can never grow again." Mustang said patting Ed on the shoulder.

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Edward...you'll never get taller." Mustang told him in a serious tone.

"You're...JOKING RIGHT?" Edward began to worry.

"Sorry, brother...it's true." Alphonse told him as he looked away.

"But look! I got you this little doll, her name is Molly, that way, even if you can never grow, you can find love with someone of your own kind." Mustang handed him the doll.

"I-I don't want to be in love with a doll!" Edward pushed the doll away.

"It's okay, Ed. It's okay..." Mustang motioned to Alphonse, who walked towards him.

"W-what is it?" Edward stuttered.

"After this, we must take him to the cow leaders." Alphonse told Mustang.

"Yes..."

"What?" Edward yelled.

"Sit still, Ed. This won't take long." Mustang said as Alphonse held Edward still. "Don't worry, Ed...soon you'll be the slave of the great cow!" Mustang laughed as he took out a needle.

"AAAAH!" Edward screamed waking up in his bedroom.

"GAH!" Alphonse yelled at hearing Ed scream. "B-brother, what's wrong?"

"You'll never take me to get an injection!" Edward threw his pillow at Alphonse and hid under the covers.

"What?" Alphonse muttered confused.

* * *

**Edward has very strange dreams...**

**-tsukiflower**


	41. Birthday

**Wow...it's been a while! Well, just want to say, once again, thanks to everyone who reads and reviews! I do read all the reviews I get, so thank you! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!...right? **

* * *

**BIRTHDAY**

"Hello there, First Lieutenant!" Mustang greeted his fellow officer holding a birthday gift. "This is for you!"

"Oh...thank you..." Hawkeye said in surprise.

"I know you'll like it, it's exactly what you've wanted!" Mustang said with a smile. Hawkeye raised her eyebrow thinking of the new gun model she had been eyeing the day before. She opened the present quickly to find...

"...What's this?" Hawkeye said after a pause, staring at the gift in disbelief.

"It's a framed photo of me!" Mustang said with a innocent smile. "Isn't it great? I made sure the photographer got my best side." Hawkeye looked at the gift as if staring into space.

"Why yes…" Hawkeye finally spoke. "Thank you. It's something I've always wanted." Hawkeye said as she put the framed photo on the windowsill. She took out her gun and shot the photo.

"It's a perfect target to practice shooting at." Hawkeye said smiling as Mustang whimpered staring at the broken photo.

* * *

**Poor Mustang...**

**-tsukiflower**


	42. Sick

**Here's another one! Enoj---**

**Envy: JUUUNNEE! -running around-**

**Okay...enjoy the story?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**

* * *

**

**SICK**

Edward was sitting in his bed with a frown. He hated being stuck in the military dorm room, while he could be out continuing his journey. Worst of all, though, was the terrible itch he felt all over his body.

"Dammit, Al! I can't stand this! How the hell did I get chicken pox?" Edward yelled as he scratched himself. Alphonse grabbed his hand.

"Hey! I told you not to do that, brother! I'm going out to get you the medicine the doctor recommended, you stay here, and DON'T SCRATCH YOURSELF!" Alphonse warned his brother. Edward watched the door close and started to scratch himself. He looked at his automail hand and got an idea.

"Where is it?" Alphonse said searching through Edward's suitcase for money. He went back to Ed's room and opened the door. "Brother, where's---BROTHER!"

"AL!"

"ARE YOU USING YOUR AUTOMAIL ARM AS A BACKSCRATCHER?" Alphonse shouted shocked.

"N-NO!" Edward yelled nervously, trying to put his automail arm back.

"Brother, give me your arm." Alphonse demanded. Edward looked down in defeat and handed it to him. Alphonse sighed as he went out the door.

"Dammit..." Edward pouted and rested on his pillow, until he remembered his automail leg...

* * *

**The lesson of this story is Edward should never ever be left alone!**

**-tsukiflower**


	43. Repair

**Eep...should've done this earlier. Another story! Thanks once again to everyone for the reviews and for reading! Today being my birthday I felt I had to update Shrimps & Kitties! (and I really need to update more...)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Or do I? (no...I don't...)**

* * *

**REPAIR**

Winry sat beside Edward in the brothers' military dorm room, inspecting his automail.

"See? It's good that I came to see you guys. I can check up and make sure your automail is okay." Winry said and then muttered under her breath, "IT'D BETTER BE OKAY."

"Y-yeah." Edward stuttered looking at her wrench.

"Huh?" Winry looked at the automail with a confused look.

"What's wrong, Winry?"

"Y-your wrist...the bolt on it..." Winry pointed at it with a nervous look on her face.

"What about it?" Edward glanced at it with no reaction.

"It's not the one I put..." Winry stared at the bolt as if wishing it would disappear.

"Oh, that...sorry Winry, it came off, and it got a little bit loose there so...I had to go to someone to get it fixed quick. The town we were in was so far from Resembool...It wasn't that much of a problem, but I didn't want to just leave it like that. So..." Edward finished his explanation and looked up to see Winry gripping the arm with the same look on her face.

"YOU WENT TO ANOTHER AUTOMAIL MECHANIC?!" Winry stood up with an expression of rage.

"Just so she could replace the bolt REAL QUICK!" Edward waved his hands in the air trying to calm her down. Winry gasped loudly.

"YOU WENT TO ANOTHER AUTOMAIL MECHANIC...FOR A QUICKIE?!" Winry grabbed her wrench as Edward began to back away.

"Yes?" Edward answered at Winry who calmed down and sighed.

"I guess I have no choice. Farewell my lovely creation!" Winry took out a control with a large red button on it.

"Wait a minute, what are you doing?" Ed questioned.

"I'm going to make your automail self-destruct." Winry said with a calm face as she was about to touch the button.

"Don't do it Winry!" Al rushed in and grabbed Winry's arm. As he did, the control fell from her hand to the floor, next to Kitty, Al's plush toy.

"DAMMIT NOT AGAIN!!" Edward ran off screaming out of the dorm room.

"What's with him?" Winry asked Al who merely shrugged.

* * *

**Kitty...always there when Edward doesn't want it to be. Hope you liked it!**

**-tsukiflower**


	44. First Time

**Hi there! It's been such a long time...Another Shrimps & Kitties chapter!!! **

**Hmm...not sure how many of the readers I used to know are still around, but sorry it took so long to update! (really sorry!) Just want to say that if there are any questions or something to say, feel free to send me a message! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and to those who have read! I hope you enjoy this new story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist! **

* * *

**FIRST TIME**

Winry walked through the hall of the military dorm rooms headed for Ed and Al's room. She had come to visit the two brothers and had just reached their door when she saw Al standing in the hall talking to himself.

"What am I going to do...what happened? What should I do..." Al muttered to himself.

"Hey, Al, what's wrong?" Winry said with a worried look.

"Oh Winry! Hi! It's just that...well...big brother...he..." Al looked away nervously as he stuttered to speak.

"DID HE BREAK THAT AUTOMAIL ARM AGAIN? JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET TO HIM!" Winry suddenly shouted as she held her wrench.

"Huh? N-NO! He...well, I sort of forced him to drink a little bit of milk and he..." Al looked toward the door of the room.

"He what?" Winry asked before she saw the door open and out came...Edward wearing an apron.

"Alphonse! What are you doing out here? Come in before you catch a cold!" Edward told his brother in a polite voice.

"Uh...I can't catch colds..." Al said to Edward as Winry looked at Ed in shock.

"Ed? Why are you talking like that? Not to mention wearing that apron..." Winry backed away holding her wrench. Edward looked toward her with a smiled.

"Winry! It's a pleasure to see you! What a nice surprise! Won't you come in and have some tea?" Edward showed her in as he headed for the stove that had a teapot. Winry sat down at the table and looked at Al.

"Al, what the heck happened to Ed?" Winry whispered in an confused tone to Al.

"I don't know! He just...changed when he drank that milk!"

"You mean...milk makes Ed...nice?" Winry gasped. Ed came back from the kitchen and placed a cup near Winry.

"I hope you enjoy the tea, Winry. Would you care for some cookies? I just made them!" Edward asked with a smile.

"...sure?" Winry answered with a nervous look. As Ed walked away humming, Winry looked at Al. "THIS IS STARTING TO CREEP ME OUT! Where'd he get that apron anyway?" Winry whispered to Al.

"I KNOW! I have no idea! And he's only been like that for ten minutes! How'd he make cookies that quick?" Al whispered back to her. Suddenly, there was a knock at the dorm room door. Al opened it to see Roy and Riza.

"Hey there Alphonse. Ah! And your lovely friend, Winry!" Roy greeted the two. "Say where's Ed? I need to talk to him about something." Al and Winry both looked at each other.

"Uh..." Al started when Ed suddenly came back with cookies.

"Here you go, Win--" Edward noticed the two. "AH! Colonel Mustang and First Lieutenant Hawkeye! How delightful to see you!" Edward greeted them with a smile. Al, Winry, Roy, and Riza stared at Ed.

"Are...you feeling alright, Fullmetal?" Roy asked.

"I'm just fine! Couldn't be better! Ah, I'll fetch you some tea, sir!" Edward placed the cookies on the table and went back to get the teapot. Winry looked down worried.

"He's even being nice to the Colonel. I wonder if Ed will stay like this forever..." Winry thought to herself as she ate one of the cookies.

"Wow...Edward being nice...I didn't know the _little_ guy had it in him." Roy chuckled. Suddenly, a crash was heard. The four looked to see Ed had dropped the teapot and stood there with a blank stare.

"What--" Edward started to speak and soon his voice changed from polite to angry. "--DID YOU SAY YOU USELESS BASTARD?" Edward glared at Roy and lunged at him, still wearing the apron.

"GET HIM OFF! SOMEONE GET HIM OFF! GAH! HE BIT ME!" Roy shouted.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT HE CAN'T EVEN REACH THE BOTTOM SHELF OF A BOOKCASE?" Edward growled.

"YAY! Brother's back to normal!" Al shouted happily and then paused. "Should we do something?"

"I'm not going near him right now." Winry sighed. Riza simply shrugged.

* * *

**Poor Colonel...-sighs-**

**-tsukiflower**


	45. Catch

**Uh...another story! A Daddy Mustang story! I wanted to do another one. (for new readers: Read chapter 6 and 34 to know about Daddy Mustang, thanks!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist!**

**

* * *

****CATCH**

Roy Mustang sat at his desk in his office as Edward entered.

"Colonel, why did you call me here? I'm busy!" Edward shouted at the Colonel. Mustang, meanwhile, was searching through his desk.

"Well, Edward, it just so happens..." Mustang took out a paper and gave it to Ed. Ed looked at it and jumped back.

"WHAT? YOU'RE MY FATHER AGAIN? WHY--HOW DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS?" Edward looked at the paper in disbelief.

"Well, no time to complain about it! It gave me a great idea! Son..." Mustang put his hand on Ed's shoulder. "Let's go outside and play catch." Edward simply looked at Roy horrified. Soon, the two were outside of headquarters in a nearby field.

"Have fun you two!" Al stood nearby and waved to the two of them. Edward stood completely embarrassed as Roy smiled.

"Here it comes, SON!" Roy threw the ball at Ed. Ed caught it and suddenly he looked at it and smirked.

"Here you go, DAD!" Ed threw the ball hard, nearly hitting Roy right in the face.

"Be careful there, SON!" Roy threw the ball just as Ed had. Ed barely dodged it.

"Umm...guys?" Al tried to cut into the tension, but the two were too concentrated on hurting each other with the ball.

"Don't think you'll get me, DAD!" Ed clapped his hands and made three new balls, which he immediately began to throw at Roy. Mustang reacted quickly with one of his flame gloves and burned the three balls.

"Wow, son, it's seems like you're trying to hurt me on purpose!" Roy glared at Edward, but kept smiling.

"That's the idea!" Ed kept making more balls as Roy kept destroying them.

Al sighed backing away.

"Wasn't this supposed to just be a simple ball game?"

* * *

**Father and son...-sighs-**

**-tsukiflower**


	46. In Love & The Disguise

**Another chapter! This time it's another two stories in one chapter! So enjoy these two stories!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. A cow does.**

**Ed: What? -goes into shock-**

**Al: Big brother! Snap out of it! **

* * *

**IN LOVE**

With Ed waiting to get his arm fixed at Winry's house at Resembool, Winry stood in her room, plucking the petals off a flower.

"I love, I don't, I love, I don't, I...I LOVE!" Winry shouted happily and went into the living room where Ed was. "HEY ED! Guess what?"

"Winry, you need to fix my arm! What is it?" Edward grumbled. Winry responded by taking her wrench out as a threat, making Ed flinch.

"First, I need to say something!" Winry blushed as she yelled.

"What?" Edward questioned. Winry knelt down on one knee in front of him.

"Will...will you marry me?"

"WHAT?! W-winry...I-I don't know what to say..." Edward stuttered in confusion. Winry pouted when she heard this.

"NOT YOU! Your automail arm! My precious creation! I LOVE YOU!" Winry said as she took his arm away and ran out the door.

"What the? Winry! I need that arm!" Edward shouted following her.

"YOU CAN'T STOP OUR LOVE!" Winry screamed in the distance.

**THE DISGUISE**

First Lieutenant Hawkeye was walking around the hallways of Central Headquarters when she suddenly saw the door of the Colonel's office open. The Colonel appeared peeking out of the room, wearing a fake beard and glasses.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me." Hawkeye said under her breath and sighed. "COLONEL!" She yelled, startling the Colonel.

"OH! Hello there, young lady!" Mustang said in a deep voice.

"Colonel, this is the worst attempt you've made at trying to escape your paperwork. Now get back in there and finish it!" Riza pointed at his office.

"Young lady, you must be confusing me for some other unbelievably handsome young man." Mustang laughed. "And has anyone told you you would look GREAT in a miniskirt?" Roy smirked as Hawkeye glared at him.

"Get back in there NOW." Hawkeye grabbed her gun as Roy reluctantly went back into his office. Hawkeye sighed.

"Where does he get all these terrible escape ideas?"

* * *

**Riza really has her hands full with Roy...and uh...Winry really...loves her creations, huh? -nervous look- -runs away-**

**-tsukiflower**


	47. Reunion

**Another chapter! For new readers, I suggest reading chapters 8, 17, and 26 to have a little background on the character shown again here. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist...-shiny hope-filled eyes- But...maybe some day I--**

**Ed: No way.**

**Uh...well enjoy the story! **

* * *

**REUNION**

The two Elric brothers stood in an abandoned building looking at Envy, who confronted them with a smirk.

"Now you'll pay for what you've done!" Envy laughed.

"I didn't do anything to you, you freak!" Edward shouted raising his fist.

"You might want to think twice before you do anything." Envy moved to a corner and revealed who else, but the Tringham brothers, tied up. "Your friends might get hurt!"

"I could care less about Russell, but kidnapping a innocent kid is crossing the line!" Edward yelled, as he clapped his hands and made his automail arm into a blade.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Russell shouted at Edward when, suddenly, a door slammed open.

"ENVY! YOU JERK!" Someone shouted from the door. Everyone looked to the door to see the familiar palm tree in a flower pot.

"JUNE!" Envy gasped. "You came back!"

"HOW DARE YOU KIDNAP MY FIANCE?" June growled while hopping towards him.

"Fiance?" Ed and Al said looking at the Tringham brothers. Fletcher looked at his older brother with a worried look, while Russell looked away.

"I'm not your fiance, you psycho plant!" Russell yelled at June.

"He's not good enough for you! You're coming back with me right now!" Envy ran towards the palm tree, grabbed her, and ran off.

"Eek! Help Russy! He's kidnapping me!" June shouted to Russell. The two disappeared, leaving both the Tringham and Elric brothers staring into the distance confused.

"..._Russy_?" Edward started to laugh, while Russell glared at Ed and shouted.

"SHUT UP!"

* * *

**-speechless- Uh...well, I'm sure Envy and June will be happy together eventually...(okay, maybe not)**

**-tsukiflower**


	48. The Second Al

**Hi there! I can't really believe it, but apparently I'm updating my fanfiction! XD Happy to be writing a new chapter. This chapter was inspired by something I drew once. Hope whoever reads this enjoys it!**

**Disclaimer: Hiromu Arakawa owns FMA. I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist, and I never will...You wouldn't want me to own it anyway. I'd just have Ed get hit with a banana cream pie in every episode and chapter. XD  
**

* * *

**THE SECOND AL**

Inside the Elric's military dorm room, Alphonse and Winry sat on the couch. Alphonse was reading an alchemy book, while Winry checked her automail tools. Suddenly, Edward slammed open the door and came in.

"GUESS WHAT?" Ed said smiling with his hands behind his back.

"You're finally going to stop ruining my precious automail?" Winry exclaimed with sparkles in her eyes.

"You're going to let me keep a cat?" Al said with the same sparkle in his eyes.

"I told you I don't do it on purpose and no, Al, I told you to give up on your dreams." Ed told the two who glared at him. He ignored them and took his hands from behind his back. "I came up with a disguise. One that will confuse our enemies! They'll wonder which one of us is which!" Ed showed them a bucket. Al and Winry stared at him blankly.

"Big brother, you didn't hit your head while you were out, did you"?

"Watch as I transform this simple bucket into a disguise that will make people think I'm you, Al!" Ed said not paying attention to Al. He took out a marker and proceeded to make a crude drawing of Al's face on the bucket. Once he finished, he put the bucket on his head. "TADA! Now I'm Al! What do you think Winry? Can't tell me and Al apart can you? Can you?" Winry stared at the bucket on Ed's head and soon began to laugh.

"S-sure Ed....it's amazing!" Winry stuttered before laughing again. Al quickly got up and ran towards Ed.

"Brother, give me that! You're embarassing me!" Al shouted trying to take the bucket off Ed's head. Ed moved back and forth avoiding him, while Winry kept laughing hysterically.

"I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not 'brother' I'm Alphonse!" Ed yelled trying to make his voice sound like Al's.

"Stop that! Give me the bucket!" Al shouted chasing Ed. Ed did his best to avoid Al and ran around the room. Ed laughed triumphantly as he kept dodging Al.

"YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ALPHONSE ELRIC!" Ed yelled before he ran into one of the dorm walls and fell to the floor. Al and Winry looked at Ed who was lying still on the floor with the bucket on his head. Al looked at him and sighed.

"Brother...you did realize you should've put eye holes on the bucket before running around wearing it, right?" Al said. After a few seconds of silence, Ed responded back.

"Shut up Al."

* * *

**Ed is a master of disguise! Or at least he thinks he is.  
**

**-tsukiflower  
**


	49. A Visitor

**Meso the Hanyu requested a story with Ling...a very long time ago.**

**Actually, it isn't until recently that I stopped being busy with schoolwork. Now that I have free time, I finally got around to writing one.**

**So, sorry for the very long delay, and here's another Shrimps & Kitties story! This is my first time writing anything with Ling or Ran Fan, so hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA, I never will. Unless all my dreams come true.**

* * *

**A VISITOR**

Ed and Al were returning to their military dorm room, exhausted after a mission.

"Well, that was the worst mission we've ever had." Ed said breathing a sigh of relief.

"Yeah...wait, how did you end up married to a cow again?" Al asked.

"I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT AFTER WE LEFT THE TOWN." Ed glared at Al when they suddenly heard a sound coming from their room. "What was that?"

"Maybe it's the Colonel?"

"Really? Perfect timing. I need to talk to him about that mission." Ed smirked as he raised his fists ready to fight. Ed ran towards the door to open it.

"Brother! Wait!" Al ran towards him when he noticed Ed stop.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I THOUGHT I KICKED YOU OUT!" Ed said pointing at someone in their room.

"Who are you talking to-" Al was about to ask when he heard a cheerful voice greet them.

"HI FRIEND!" Ling shouted and patted Ed on the back. "Welcome back!"

"HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?"

"The window!"

"WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?"

"The window!"

"WHAT?"

"It was open! You missed us, didn't you? You left it open for us." Ling smiled and pointed to the window which was obviously opened by force.

"LISTEN IF YOU DON'T LEAVE NOW I'LL-" Ed was about to finish his threat when a knife came flying past his face. He looked to the kitchen to see Ran Fan holding the other kitchen knives.

"Don't threaten the master." Ran Fan glared at Ed.

"Ran Fan! Don't be so mean to our guests!" Ling said as Ran Fan nodded and placed the knives down.

"You're in OUR room!" Ed yelled at Ling. "Ran Fan, WHY are you two here?"

"...the window was open." Ran Fan said quietly and calmly. Ed placed his hand over his face while Al tried to tell him to calm down.

"Other than that! Did something happen?" Ed looked at Ling seriously. Ling stopped smiling and suddenly began talking in a low voice.

"Actually...there is a reason." Ling said. He gestured towards Ed to lean in to hear.

"What is it?" Ed and Al leaned in to hear.

"I..." Ling whispered.

"You?" Ed and Al both said as they held their breath waiting to hear what he had to say.

"...wrote a song." Ling finished and began smiling again.

"WHAT." Ed and Al looked at him confused.

"Ran Fan!" Ling shouted to Ran Fan who quickly walked over to him and pulled out a harmonica.

"Ahem..." Ran Fan proceeded to play a note on the harmonica. Ling began to sing.

_We are friends_

_Til the end!_

_You and me are best bud-dies!_

_I hope you don't get mad at what I have to say,_

_I ordered food so now you have to pay!_

Ling finished his song and showed Ed a bill. Ed's hands trembled as he read through it.

"It says this is an order for 30 roasted chickens, 20 bowls of rice, 30 pieces of bread with dipping sauce, and 2 mints to be BILLED TO EDWARD ELRIC?" Edward yelled at Ling as he ripped up the paper. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM YOU THIEF!" Ed grabbed Ling and Ran and kicked them both out the window. He clapped his hands and fixed the window using alchemy, making sure it wouldn't open again.

"Are you sure that's really going to stop them from coming back?" Al told his brother Ed, who sat down exhausted on the couch.

"Don't worry it will...and if it doesn't...we have this." Ed held up one of the kitchen knives Ran threw at him.

"No! Don't kill them!"

"WELL I WON'T HAVE TO USE IT IF EVERYONE JUST LEAVES ME ALONE-" Just as Ed finished yelling, someone burst through the door with a guitar.

"HELLO FULLMETAL! Someone named Ling said they wanted me to come over and play a song just for you!" The Colonel shouted happily as he strummed his guitar.

"Hey look, Al! Just who I wanted to see!" Ed smiled while holding up the knife and began to run towards the Colonel.

"No brother! Stop! Run Colonel run!" Al held Ed back, while the Colonel ran out the door with his guitar.

Outside, Ling and Ran Fan stood staring into the dorm room.

"Wow, they sure have a lot of fun! Don't they, Ran Fan?"

"Yes, they do..."

"We should see them again soon!" Ling smiled at Ran Fan and walked away from the chaos.

* * *

**How come no one likes Roy's guitar playing? Poor poor Roy.**

**-tsukiflower**


End file.
